Ok, so we (The Fry Fam) are busy! Seriously. What are we busy with? Well, to start we have two children and one of us has a job. Then, there’s the normal house upkeep, website upkeep, business networking mumbo jumbo. And also, for my business I usually need 2 sewing nights a week to keep up with orders and preparation for upcoming craft shows. This has been the extent of what has kept us busy until just recently when we decided to sign up for everything under the Sun! (I’m really happy we are doing all these things, though. Keep that in mind.) On John’s plate, he has been organizing these Tweet-ups, that ended up failing as a tweet-up and is morphing into some other kind of meeting. You’ll have to ask him about what they do. All I know is he has a few meetings a month for this thing. Then, John has decided to become an active member of the City Foods Coop. By the way, if you aren’t a member yet, you should be! This is a recent endeavor and I haven’t gotten a feel for how much time this will actually take, but I’m sure the amount of time to get a co-op going is quite hefty. We also made it out to the first working day for a local community garden! I didn’t do much work because I had a sick little baby with me that just needed to get out for some fresh air. We’ve been cooped up inside for too many days! Anyway, we will have the community garden and our own garden to tend to. We’ve got a lot going on! Another meeting that Jackson will be hearing about is the monthly CHOICES Meetings. My friend had been leading and organizing this group on her own for the past year and a half. She decided she needed some help to keep it going, so I and another lovely gal are joining her in the efforts to organize this awesome group. So far, we’ve worked very efficiently together. We had the April meeting planned and ready to promote within a few days! Visit the website to see what we have planned!

The warning is valid. It is totally possible for a baby to suffocate in a Ring Sling baby carrier if the baby is improperly placed in the sling. The carry or hold they are referring to is what I call the ‘Cradle Carry’. This hold is perfectly safe if done correctly. What needs to happen is the person using the sling should make sure that originally the baby is placed in the sling correctly. The next step would be to simply pay attention. It’s easy for baby to shift as the person using the sling moves around. If the ring sling wearer is aware of baby and their position, then this hold is safe, and there should be no worry for suffocation. For the slings I make, I have placed a warning within my Ring Sling Instructions about the caution that should be taken for this specific hold. Basically, anyone using a Ring Sling should learn as much as they can about their baby carrier and all of its uses.

All this being said, I don’t like the scare that’s being thrown out about this specific carrier. You could have some other type of carrier that was poorly made and have an equally tragic accident with it. Any number of things could happen within your household that result in death from something that was originally safe, but was misused. Think about the catastrophe that could happen if a negligent parent or caregiver wasn’t careful to make sure baby doesn’t smack their head on the sharp corner of the faucet in the bathtub. Or, even worse, the tragedy that could come from the baby left unattended in the bath water. We aren’t seeing huge warnings about bathtubs. What we do see is advice recommending care when bathing a child. The same concept should go for Ring Slings. The Ring Sling is not the problem, it’s the lack of vigilance on the sling wearer’s part. It should go without saying that anything you use for, around, with, under, or by your baby should be used with care and an understanding of how to keep the entire situation safe.

So, the conclusion I’ve come up with? This warning is well meaning, but really, it’s not the sling at fault; the misuse of the sling is to blame. Anyone selling these baby carriers should be aware of the risk, and should also make this risk apparent to anyone using their slings. But, such a negative regard for this useful product is really unnecessary. The good things about a Ring Sling by far out weigh the bad. For one, using a baby carrier keeps your child close to you. Closer, hopefully and usually, means that baby is being well cared for. In a sling your baby can be comforted far more than any swing, chair, or crib can offer. Instead of being across the house to hear your baby crying, you can be aware of the baby just beginning to awaken and offer comfort, food, or whatever it is they need before the baby gets to the point where they need to cry. The main reason for using such a baby carrier is to be closer to baby and to be more available to attend to any need the child may have. I feel strongly that the bad name does not belong on the shoulders of the Ring Sling, but the person who is using it incorrectly.

A sling is as safe as you want it to be.

Oh man! I feel awesome today, for so many reasons. For one, I am feeling 100% better after having my second bout with Mastitis. The main reason for this post stems from this breast infection I have, but I’ll get to that in a minute. I also want to let you know that I am wearing flip-flops. Yes, flip-flops. It is 60 degrees outside, and I am joyous. 30’s may be coming back for a few days, but today it is 60, and I am so glad for that. Indiana always teases us with a week or so of lovely Spring weather, and then smashes your no-coat-wearing, muscles-relaxing-because-you’ve-been-so-tense-from-cold-weather, bird-chirping good mood and reminds you with bitter cold temperatures that “HEY, you are still in Indiana! It’s not quite time for Spring, yet, silly! Put your coat back on!”. I do not love you for that, Indiana. Anyway, other things that are good: I am applying for quite a few craft shows for the Spring/Summer/Early Fall seasons. I was accepted into The Bloomington Handmade Market! I’ve not had experience with this one, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about it. Plus, it’s in Bloomington. I, for some odd reason, have not ever made it down there. So now, I have a very good reason to go. Okay, so here is another reason I am feeling so great today. Let’s backtrack, shall we?

It’s Sunday morning, and I have been stricken with Mastitis as of the late evening before. I go to Urgent Care to get my antibiotics. The doctor working comes in to talk with me about the whole situation. I tell him about the new issues that may have attributed to my getting Mastitis for the second time. Archer has been spacing out nursing more and more, and sometimes we get busy and miss feedings. (After really looking at what’s going on, I need to to pay more attention to the space between feedings. I also need to be pumping when I’m away from him for those few hours when I’m home alone to sew.) So, anyway, his advice is as follows:

I need to continue breastfeeding through the remainder of my illness, and then switch Archer over to cow’s milk. (!) This advice came from hearing that Archer is over the age of 1, and that he nurses mostly of the evenings and through the night. This to him spelled out weaning, but to me, weaning will happen naturally, and does not mean switching him over to cow’s milk within his advised “2-3 weeks”. 2-3 weeks! Weaning could be a year long process! Also, apparently since Archer is 1 now, he’s only gaining comfort from breastfeeding! I guess that all the immune boosters and nutrition that are daily adapting to my son’s needs suddenly disappear after the age of 1.

Anyway, I was appalled by the horrible advice, to say the least. I contacted my Midwife, Penny Lane CNM, to see if the Breastfeeding Coalition she is in had some sort of packet of information to send to doctors when situations like this arose. And, she did! So, this doctor has some information and a letter from me being sent to him. I can’t tell you how good it felt to write this letter.

Here it is:

Dear Dr.,

I came into Urgent Care on Sunday, March 7 at the Greenbush Arnett Clinic. I came in with Mastitis and needed antibiotics. I appreciate the prescription for the antibiotics, but I feel your recommendation to quit breastfeeding my son was horrible advice. I understand that my son is weaning, and my choice is to let that process happen naturally—which could be a year long process. We are going through a rough patch in our breastfeeding relationship, but the issues that we are having can easily be resolved. I, The American Academy of Pediatrics, The American Academy of Family Physicians, the US Surgeon General, and the World Health Organization feel breastfeeding is the BEST thing I can be doing for my child. And, it is recommended to breastfeed AT LEAST through 2 years and longer if both the mother and child are still interested. So, stopping breastfeeding should be the LAST resort, considering my son’s age. There are many reasons for getting Mastitis, and I really think that my situation should have been looked at a bit longer than the 2 minutes you spoke with me to advise quitting breastfeeding. Or maybe, I should have been referred to a Lactation Consultant. If I’m going to take anyone’s advice on the breastfeeding relationship I have with my son, it is going to have to be someone with a firm background of experience and knowledge on the subject. It’s apparent to me that knowledge about breastfeeding is not something you have. To say that because my son is past the age of 1 year his sole benefit from breastfeeding is comfort, is absolutely false. He is still getting the nutrition that has been his ONLY source of nourishment for the past 12 months. Any lack of nutrients in his solid food diet is supplemented with my breast milk. Also, his immune system highly benefits from breastfeeding. I found it quite ridiculous to offer advice to switch from breast milk to cow’s milk. Cow’s milk has far less–nutritionally speaking– to offer than breast milk. Not to mention, my milk adapts to what my son needs daily. Overall, I feel your recommendation was detrimental to the health of my son.

Luckily, I am knowledgeable about breastfeeding and know when someone is giving ignorant advice. I feel sorry for the young mothers that are coming to you for advice that aren’t as knowledgeable. To recommend to a mother to stop doing the best thing she can for her child, because you are uninformed on the subject is quite sad. I do hope you will enlighten yourself on this very important subject before offering any more advice.

Sincerely,
Katie Fry

I’m going to lead you through the story of how I started as an insecure young mother to a strong and confident woman.

So, I’m 21 with a boyfriend that I love, but I’ve only known him for a few months. Things are, of course, exciting between us. New love is one of the best things to experience. We aren’t doing anything remotely important with our lives at this point in time. I am getting up at 7:45 a.m. to make it to my less then glamorous job on campus as a sandwich maker. Hey, I was making $8.50 an hour! That’s some serious cash! When I would get off of work, I’d drive my ’93 Mazda over the bridge to my downtown apartment. This apartment was the best. I had my own little private back porch outside my bedroom window. Others might have called it the roof, but it was my porch. After coming home from my day of cheesecake decorating, sandwich making, and trash taking, I would take a nap. 10 or 11 p.m. would roll around, and I’d be getting up to shower and start my evening. At 21, my evening usually consisted of going somewhere to drink. So, I’d go out and wait for John to call me when he was off of work. John’s job was a step ahead of mine, he was a manager at a pizza place. Wow! So, when he was done around midnight, we’d meet up and enjoy the late night/early morning hours together. Bed time didn’t usually come until 5 a.m., or so. That’s kinda rough for a girl that’s got to be at work by 8. But, love somehow makes you invincible and maybe even superhuman. Or maybe, stupid. Who knows? All I know is I didn’t mind messing up my sleep for John.

After repeating the above quite a few times, things eventually calmed down. Sleep deprivation set in, and I was ready for something better than just wasting time and money at bars. I moved to a new apartment, which turned out to be the worst living arrangement I had made up to that point. You’d think I would have thought about the lack of a sound barrier when the bedrooms are lofts. This of course, alluded me. All I saw was a cute apartment with room for a pool table. A few weeks into living there with my roommate who was also dating someone, I couldn’t take the lack of privacy. So, John’s place became more and more my place. And his place, WOW. It was gross. Two lazy boozers living in a tiny apartment with a German Shepard = hair covered everything and super gross. Again, another instance of love doing weird things like blinding me to the black hair coating the bathroom floor and the unusable kitchen. Despite the hair and grime, we did have a lot of fun there, hence the next milestone in our short time together. I was pregnant. One night we are partying it up without a care in the world, and the next, we had a baby in the mix. I freaked, as did John! Having a child was definitely not in our plans.

I knew absolutely nothing about being pregnant. I didn’t know what to eat or how to take care of myself with this growing child inside of me. What I did know is that I wanted to do all I could to keep me and baby healthy. So, after one positive pregnancy test and saying ‘Holy Shit!’ about 20 times, I went out for my last cigarette. I came back in to take the second pregnancy test to confirm what I already believed to be true: I was going to have a baby! From that point on, it was all about staying healthy. I quit smoking, drinking, of course, and focused on my nutrition and exercise. Baby, here we come!

So, my focus remained where it was from the beginning. I made sure I wasn’t surviving off of boxes of macaroni and cheese and started paying more attention to all of the food groups. I even got out and walked through campus amongst the thousands of students and people my age with my huge belly. That was where my insecurity took root. It was very odd to be 21 and pregnant. Around me were 21 year olds either going to Psych class, going home to their apartment for beers with friends, or doing almost anything, except having babies. Becoming a mother was like entering a new world that I was completely unfamiliar with. At my age, I still placed a lot of value on time spent with friends. I didn’t understand how I would mesh my old life with the new. I was desperately trying to hold on to being social, and didn’t want to face the fact that most of my old ways needed to be let go. I was going to be someone’s mother, and there was no way I was going to half ass it! Whether I had plans for children or not, I have always planned on being a good mother, if the situation arose. So, I had to give up late nights with friends and doing whatever I wanted when I wanted if I was going to be the mother I should be. But as I was giving all of these things up, I wasn’t sure what I would be adding to my life other than a family and a baby. I wasn’t really sure what all of this meant. Play dates or making friends with other moms was the last thing I wanted to do. I created this idea that any mom that I might meet would be uninteresting. I imagined the mom with five kids, no job, nothing to say, and a wardrobe consisting of dorky capris and lavender scoop neck tees. If only I would have met my tattoo covered, breastfeeding, baby wearing friend back then! I thought I was the only mom on the planet with tattoos and locs in her hair.

While all these absurd ideas were culminating in my head, the due date for my new baby boy was fast approaching. A due date means giving birth! I had not even given birth a thought until nearly the last month of my pregnancy. A natural birth sounded appealing to me, being the sort-of hippie type. My intention was to try to give birth naturally, but if things got bad, I’d be okay with an epidural. There was no preparation for this. I read the awful book, ‘What To Expect When You Are Expecting’, and that was it. I put all trust in my OB, and bought into the idea that birth was dangerous and belonged in a hospital. My due date came and went, so an induction was scheduled. I arrived at the hospital in the morning, still wondering whether a natural birth could be possible, but scared out of my wits for what the birth process would actually be like. When getting settled into my room, I told a nurse that I wanted to try to avoid using any drug, other than the Pitocin they would be giving me to induce. Her response was a combination of a condescending chuckle and the remark, ‘You’re gonna NEED that epidural, honey.’ She’s a nurse. What the hell did I know? So, I put trust in this nurse I’d never met, and went with the idea that soon I would be getting an epidural.

The Pitocin was administered, my water was broken by the doctor, and labor very slowly started to progress. After my water was broken, I got my epidural, and waited. I waited for my beautiful baby all drugged up while laying flat on my back with an oxygen mask and cords hooked up to every inch of my body. Seriously! If I knew then what I know now! This is not the ideal way to welcome a new family member! My labor, of course, was not progressing the way the doctor wanted, so they kept increasing the amount of Pitocin I was getting. And while they were doing this, my son’s heart rate was sinking lower and lower. There was a nurse that had to continuously watch the monitor to make sure things didn’t get too dangerous. So, as my son is in distress, and my body was not “cooperating”, a Cesarean Section was mentioned. This immediately brought tears to me eyes and overwhelmed me with fear for the health of my son and fear of being cut open. Again, this is NOT how childbirth should be! Every time they would check me to see how far I was dilated, I would become more and more discouraged. I felt my body was failing me. I thought the Pitocin they were giving me was some sort of magic medicine that would get my labor going and make my body do what it was “supposed” to do. But, my body wasn’t doing what it was “supposed” to do, so I felt that maybe something was wrong with me. Maybe, my body didn’t know how to properly labor.

Finally, the time came to push. Defeat, once again. I couldn’t push my own baby out. Of course, now I know it’s pretty difficult to give birth while being too numb to even move a leg from the epidural combined with the ridiculous position they put you in. But, at the time, the nursing staff and doctor made me feel like I was some sort of amateur, and that I needed a little help with the vacuum. ‘Whatever!’ was my thought. Let’s just get this baby out! So, Jackson Dean was born. He was beautiful. Unfortunately, the way he was brought into this world was not so beautiful.

Breastfeeding would be the next thing on my list of defeats. Again, I was not prepared for breastfeeding. I had no strong passion to do it, although I did want to try it. If it was easy, I planned to continue. In the hospital, I initiated breastfeeding soon after Jackson was born, and I was optimistic about the whole idea. Things only went down hill from there, though. I couldn’t quite get him to latch correctly, and the nurses were scaring me into believing that he wasn’t getting enough colostrum. So, the lactation consultant on duty had me pumping and supplementing with formula before our hospital stay was over. But, when we got home I continued to breastfeed. I was miss insecurity about the whole thing, though. I hadn’t been around breastfeeding since I was 4 or 5 when my aunt was visiting. So, to avoid feeling awkward when feeding my son, I would pump ahead of time and bottle feed when we had company, or when we were out. Being unprepared, as I was, I didn’t know that the first few weeks with a breastfeeding newborn are spent mostly on the couch nursing. So, when Jackson wasn’t satisfied with the nurses’ advice of “15 minutes on one side and then switch to the other every 2 to 3 hours”, I assumed he wasn’t getting enough milk. With this in mind, very sore nipples, and a struggle to find the enjoyment out of nursing my son, I gave up around 8 weeks.

Needless to say, I didn’t come out of my first taste of motherhood with any sense of confidence. My role in giving birth to my son was almost nonexistent. I attribute this to my lack of preparation and lack of the knowledge that I even needed any preparation. But, I’m not beating myself up over it. That is just how it goes. And, unfortunately, this is normally how it goes for most women. So, in my mind, I am incapable of having a normal birth and I don’t have enough milk to feed my child. All of this made my confidence as a mother plummet. But, time went on, and I adjusted to my new role. Childbirth and breastfeeding aren’t the only aspects of being a mom, after all. As I matured, my faith in my mothering ascended, but not nearly to the level that I am at after having my second child.

So, let’s jump ahead. I became pregnant once again at age 26. I really didn’t want to repeat my birth experience I had with Jackson, so John and I took The Bradley Method Childbirth class. The original goal was to birth naturally at the hospital. But, as I researched our options, home birth started to sound more and more appealing. It was very fitting for what we wanted out of this experience: a safe, intimate, and natural childbirth. So, we interviewed and hired our Midwife! Then, the long awaited day came for Archer to arrive. And, wow, was it a beautiful day! The birth of Archer was definitely life changing for me as a mother and woman. I felt enormously empowered following his birth. But, I don’t want to attribute my liberation solely to the fact that I gave birth naturally. The research and preparation I did to have the birth I wanted also greatly influenced my sense of empowerment. So, whether a woman chooses the epidural, the home birth, or even the scheduled C-Section, I think that making a decision about how you want to bring your child into this world is very important. But, I do want to make a big point about birthing naturally. The birth process left alone to progress naturally will give you a glimpse of just how perfect our bodies are designed and how perfectly capable we are to safely give birth. When I allowed myself to trust birth, and to trust my body to safely bring my son into this world, things changed for me. To experience putting so much faith in yourself, in your decision, and in God was life changing, to say the least. And, I think that this is precisely how the birth process should affect us. Giving birth is one of the most special and sacred times in the “life” of a family. Birth should be amazing, and wonderful.

So, here I am now, a mother that is confident in mothering. FINALLY. After all this time, I’ve grown into my role.

There’s going to be a lot of tooting of my own horn in this post, so be warned.

So, my slings are selling.  I’m not making enough money to retire, but my sales are definitely rising.  I am thrilled!  Thanks to all the lovelies who bought one, I hope you love it!  And as I’ve been selling online and locally, I decided that having my slings in a store or two would be a good way to try to get a few more sales.  My Midwife offered to let me sell them at her little shop in her office.  So of course, my slings will be there!  I can’t think of a better place to find a baby wearin’ Mama.  Seriously, if you are having a homebirth, I’m betting you wear your baby.  Another place I had in mind was Gretel’s Fine Gifts.  I have loved this little shop ever since I discovered it, and later found out the owner used to work with my Dad.  Small world. So, after stopping in and showing Gretel one of my slings in use with my adorable babe, she agreed to let me sell them in her store!  Thank you, Gretel!

So, from all the local orders and getting slings made for these two shops, my Etsy shop has been suffering.  I either haven’t had the time to add new listings or I don’t have the materials for the new listings because they are being used for slings I’m selling locally.  So, I’m slowly figuring out where to go from here.  I definitely need more linen on hand than I’ve needed in the past.  As well as all the other stuff that goes into making a sling: thread, accenting fabric, and THE RINGS.  You can’t forget those rings for the ring sling!

It’s just so amazing to watch my little business take this step into success.  I’m so thankful that this has all worked out.  I’m able to stay home with my kids and not starve because I have a wonderful husband that works and wholeheartedly supports me staying home.  And to top off that, I have time to focus on my business that I’ve made from something I love doing.

Anyway, enough of that so-happy-I-could-cry stuff. Here are a few of the beauties I have made for Gretel’s store. I can’t wait for my linens to get here so I can duplicate these and list them in my shop!

P.S. I’m not sure why the pictures are all crammed like they are. Annie? If you are reading this, help!

I am lucky.  The guy I decided to marry turned out to be amazingly great for the husband/Daddy/best friend role.  I’ve been thinking about this lately because of one of his recent blog posts, and the many talks we’ve been having about our goals as a family.  John has his things that he wants to do: sell junk.  And I have mine: raise awareness about natural birth and promote breastfeeding while selling beautiful slings.  Now, when you put it this way, it sounds pretty funny.  John is not out to change the world, he just wants to work for himself and be happy.  He’s a simple man.  We both have become very serious about accomplishing these goals.  Unfortunately for John, my business and new website are requiring a lot of time spent with me at home sewing or writing, and him out killing time with the boys.  And it’s not really killing time, but it’s time that he’s got to be away for me to work.  So, this takes away from time he could be spending on his business plans.  Here’s the part when I tell you why John is amazing.  He has decided to focus on what I’m doing and put his own goals on the back burner.  He feels that the website I have started will take off and be useful.  For this to happen, I’ve got a lot of work to do on it.  And over the past two months, my slings have been selling more and more.  Basically, the ball has already started rolling for me, my business, and my goals.  I can’t tell you how thrilled I am about this!

So, the beautiful man I married is cheering me on the whole way through this path we are on.  He believes in what I’m doing, he encourages me, he helps me, and he is excited for me!  It’s actually us that he’s excited for.  I could not be happier with the way our partnership has grown.  I remember one of my roommates said that our astrological signs were very compatible and creative when put together.  Whether that’s a load of hooey, or truth I don’t know.  But, I do know that John and I have a lot going for us, and it seems that since the day we met we’ve had nothing but blessing after blessing come into our lives.  Jackson started us off and things are only getting better.

In March we will be married 5 years.  What a great way to spend five years, with my best friend.

Candy.  The amount of candy that has entered our household since Jackson came around is amazing.  I don’t remember having this problem before having babies, so I guess that having kids means candy suddenly becomes abundant.  There is candy at every holiday, every birthday party, every get-together, and it all ends up at our house!  And once it gets to our house, it just sits there.  Occasionally, one of us will grab something out of the mound-o-candy, but mostly, it’s left untouched.  Then, after looking at it and cursing the fact that it even made it into our house, I decide to just get rid of it.  I go through my “Purging of the Candy” ritual, that seems to happen way too often.  I feel like I’m being wasteful, but I would rather just get this stuff out of our house.  Jackson SERIOUSLY does not need to up his sugar intake.  He goes crazy on candy!  He’s got enough energy as it is.  The last thing he needs is a sugar rush, and the last thing we both need is the crash.  So, to just avoid the mood roller coaster all together, I try to get the candy out of our house.  And, I don’t even feel right about giving it to someone else.  The only place it belongs is in the trash.  It’s so wasteful, but I really feel that candy is better in the landfill than in my son’s stomach.  It has crossed my mind to take each piece of candy out of it’s wrapper for recycling.  Maybe I’ll take a picture of that when the next candy purge comes along.

Scene:  Everyone in the house has just eaten a delicious meal that I prepared.  John is on the couch watching TV, Archer is playing with the tupperware in the drawer by my feet, and Jackson is playing Super Mario World on John’s old Super Nintendo.  I am doing dishes, wiping down counters, cleaning the high chair tray, and trying to keep Archers fingers from getting smashed in the drawer.

Jackson:  Hey Mommy, can you come help me with my game?

Me:  Not right now, I’m finishing up cleaning the kitchen.  Can you ask Daddy to help you?

Jackson:  But, Daddy is on the couch watching his show.

Me:  Oh, well then, just give me a minute.  (In my head, “Well, we wouldn’t want to disturb Daddy while he’s relaxing on the couch, now we would we?!?!?!)

Lately, it has been on my mind, the importance of having some sort of support group around for motherhood. When I had my first son at age 22, I was not ready for the mother role, but life brought me a baby, and a mother was what I had to be. It’s not that I wasn’t thrilled to become a mom, I just hadn’t really given motherhood a second thought, until I found I was pregnant. At the time, I had the women in my family to look to for guidance on how to take care of my new little one. My mother-in-law was absolutely wonderful. She came and stayed with us the first week of Jackson’s life. She made it the most relaxing and cozy time for getting to know our new baby. She cooked, she cleaned, she let me nap. She was amazing. But once the newness of the whole being a mom thing wore away, I was left to decide where I stood in my identity as a mother.

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More here.

I’m always writing about sewing slings, but I have yet to write about why I love baby wearing. I’m so happy I discovered it with my second son. There’s so much more to it than just having a different way to tote your baby around. It creates convenience in so many situations and helps create a strong bond with your baby. I wrote more on this topic over here.