So. Let’s talk detachment parenting. We’ve got these parents that have babies, right? And these parents (the ones I’m referring to) want their babies. These parents maybe even tried and tried again for these babies. But, once said baby arrives, it’s a dance to keep baby content without any REAL contact. I’m talking contact from breastfeeding. I’m talking contact from holding. I’m talking physical comfort! I see all these new parents that were so anxiously awaiting their little one’s arrival, and once he/she arrives, the baby is set to the side. New pictures of the baby are of the baby in the swing, bouncer chair, boppy, car seat, whatever. Wouldn’t you expect such a beloved baby to be seen in the arms of her/his mama, daddy, family, or friend? Isn’t that where they get the comfort they need?

John and I were discussing this after I’d seen so many pictures posted on facebook from new parents with the new baby and no parent to be found. I think that people are under the assumption that these contraptions (swings, chairs, etc.) are what the baby wants. Really, all they want is their parents. And REALLY, (after my experience with a breastfeeding baby) all they want is their mothers. It’s so disappointing to hear from new parents about the first few days after the baby arrives. “Daddy is napping with baby, while I’m cooking dinner.” Or, “Daddy and I went our for lunch without baby”, when it hasn’t even been a week since he’s been home. Those precious days after your baby arrives are so fleeting and should be savored to the last drop. Bonding is established in those first few weeks, but I’m not sure some new parents are aware of just how precious and important this bond is. I do know about needing a minute to yourself, and also, a minute with your partner. But, the trend I’m seeing is, the focus becomes far from the parent and baby relationship once they arrive.

I’ve done it both ways, the detachment parenting, and attachment parenting way, and attachment parenting wins. Your arms always beat the chair. Breastfeeding always beats the bottle. I wish that this was common knowledge. I wish that new parents knew (I wish I knew), that breastfeeding is seriously THE BEST. You can get any baby to sleep with breastfeeding. You can calm any baby down with breastfeeding. You can give immediate comfort to any baby with breastfeeding. You can try the swing, try the chair, try the pacifier, but Mama or Daddy will always win.

And maybe I’m an attachment parenting snob … or something. After parenting two little ones, I’ve figured out what supports a close bond with your baby and in result makes the whole family happy and stress free. (Well, maybe there is some stress. Let’s be real, here.)